the question box

I don't know if you've ever noticed, but kids ask the darnedest questions, and a lot of them! When Kate was 5, and Elia was 3, Greg made a question box (literally--a box, with lots of question marks on it) so that whenever they had a question they could just have us write it down and we'd answer them together as a family. I won't lie to you, we totally forgot to check the box for weeks. but when we finally did, we found a LOT of questions from Kate, and just one from Elia that didn't even make sense (she apparently was too busy taking off her clothes in the backyard to have time for such nonsense). Here is a sampling of Kate's questions:

--How do you make somebody stop when they don’t even know what words

mean? --Why when you go somewhere you have to leave your bed and your house? --Why does George not want to go in the bath? (Curious George??) --How do seasons know how to change? --Why are some pictures so small? –-Why do bananas change from green to yellow? --How do we know if God was born because he made everything? --What is Late?

It was a long night.

While some people are naturally more inquisitive than others, I dare say we all share a quest for answers--from trivial questions, to the truly unanswerable ones. What should I have for lunch? What are the best hair styles for wavy thick hair? Is Tracy Chapman a man or a woman? This is part of our human nature, which works out well, because it drives our thirst for knowledge and discovery.

When I was a kid, my dad told me that if I ever wondered what to talk to someone about, I should ask them questions about themselves, as we are all our own favorite topics. It worked like a charm, and people soon pegged me as a "good conversationalist" (guilty!). And then something odd happened...I met Greg. Greg is the father of the question. The question-asker extrodinaire. He could talk to a wall and come up with a wide range of intriguing and not-so-intruiging questions. Sometimes--mostly after a long day, or in the wee hours of the morning when I'm not at my most talkative--I'll ask him if he really wants to know what I had for lunch last week, or if he's just trying to make conversation. I mean, nobody can care that much about what my t-ball practice schedule was in 3rd grade.

I heard an NPR podcast a while ago, where a man was telling about a time he was driving somewhere with his daughter. She started asking him super tough questions about the galaxy or space, and he went on a quest researching the answers only to find she actually didn't want answers, she just wanted to talk. I'm going to go ahead an call this the "Greg syndrome" (although Greg would say he's actually interested in learning your laundry detergent preferences).

On the other end of the spectrum, of course, is when our kids ask us questions to actually get the answers. The fun thing about parenting is that we get to be with our kids when they learn about everything for the first time. Where do you go when you die? Why do people get divorced? What is sex? (To that last one I put my finger in the air and said I'd be right back--ran to talk to Greg for a second before returning to Kate who said, "So, did Dad tell you what sex was?" (He did not, but I was looking for advice on how much I could tell a 4-year-old.)

Our kids' favorite after-dinner pastime is to pull out a few conversation cards from one of our various decks. Some questions only require quick answers, but the really good ones get us talking or telling stories, which is the whole point, right? Sometimes I like to come up with my own "conversation cards," like: If you had to chose between having 7 kids or none, which would you pick?" (Greg said 7, I said none.) Or, I asked Greg the other day If you could pick out who your wife is every day, would you always pick me? He said I'd be picked more often than any other woman. Hmm...but, it definitely started a conversation! And, after all, isn't that the whole point?

BONUS: Here are some fun questions for your next gathering:

1. What would you most like to know about the future?

2. Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible?

3. If you weren't scared, what would you do?

4. How did your parents meet and fall in love?

5. Which three objects would you save first if your house caught fire?

6. What do you want your life to be in five years?

7. What was your favorite family vacation?

8. What would you want to be famous for someday?

9. Would you like to see an alien?

10. Which animal would you love to be for a day?

11. Would you rather always lose or never play?

12. What is your favorite and least favorite thing about the Schempers? (Watch-it!)