the end of all good things
The other week, when Greg and Elia were out of town for the day, Kate and I did what any red-blooded American would do: we shopped at Target. We splurged on our Starbucks drinks, perused the store, purchased the most comfortable pj shirt for Kate, and were on our way home to watch a movie and chillax. Everything was so perfect, so I almost hesitated saying it, but I did, "Kate, I hate to say this, but I read just today that you have to wash new clothes before you wear them, so you can't wear that new shirt tonight." Kate looked at me, made a gutteral noise (the same one I do myself when I'm exasperated), and said that I need to stop reading things because it leads me to take away every good thing. "What?" I exclaimed. I opened my mouth to protest, then closed it again. She was absolutely right.
I do a lot of reading and on-line research (mostly for the betterment and self-preservation of my children of course). Sometimes at night, as I'm fixing to fall asleep, I make mental notes of what I want to research the next day. (Is the HPV vaccination safe? Can you make decaffeinated kombucha? What is Arsenio Hall up to?) And what I don't think up myself, Greg sends me in search of. Do you think our kids should be drinking non-organic dairy? Have you ever considered getting a puppy? Do you think there is asbestos in our ceiling? And as anyone who does a lot of research knows, it ends up being a balancing act of determining basic truths from a multitude of extreme stories. But that's what I do, and a part of me loves doing it so much that I'll volunteer to research things for other people. But, I can tell you there are two people who do not love my research habits quite so much: Kate and Elia.
So, what are these good things we've taken away from our precious daughters? Here goes:
Television. Greg was hell-bent to not let Kate watch TV the first three years of her life. (Due to growing evidence it may lead to ADHD.) This lasted until Elia was born, and I was at home alone with two little girls and needed a morning nap on the couch. "Kids, do you want to watch Sesame Street or Rachel Ray?" Turns out the joke is on Greg, cause Elia turned out just fi--I'm sorry, what was I saying?
Juice. Kids love nothing more than juice. I, of course, not wanting them overloaded with sugar, would supply half water half juice to my kids. Until they went to their grandparents' place and were mistakenly supplied 100% juice. (You should have seen the eyes on those kids as they downed this liquid gold!) Once you go pure, it sure is hard to go back.
Plastic water bottles. Turns out the chemicals in BPA plastics are not great for people, so I made the children get rid of all their beloved water bottles and we bought some BPA free ones. Until I heard that the BPS in plastic may be no better. If there's something wrong with stainless steel, please do not tell me, because I can't see sending glass containers to school.
Straws. Not only are straws unnecessary environmental waste, I find the non-disposable ones disgusting. Especially the curley-q ones that kids love so dearly. I'm done with cleaning straws. They never dry and I can only assume are great environments to harvest mold and bacteria. I recently told the girls they can kiss their straws goodbye. (They are revolting on this one.)
Canned drinks. We don't buy pop, but for several months we were all addicted to drinking LeCroix sparkling water. Until Greg said something about canned goods being lined with a bad plastic. Of course they are.
Tasty toothpaste. Did you know there are a lot of bad-for-you ingredients in your toothpaste? Well, sadly, I do. So for a while I was buying Tom's, or some other natural toothpaste, but ultimately decided that I'd rather my kids brush their teeth with toxins than not at all.
Electric blankets. We were in LOVE with our electric blankets--used them all last winter. There's nothing better than crawling into an already toasty bed in the cold winter months! Then, Greg said he wondered if the electro-magnetic discharge was ok for us. I did some research, and we will be cold this winter.
Trampolines. We have been offered a trampoline more than once. Greg is adamantly opposed to such fun, so I did a little research and, yes, the only safe way to enjoy a trampoline is for one person at a time to bounce without any fancy jumps or flips. This would never happen, and since the risk of neck and spine injury is so great, our children will be jumping on the ground (one at a time).
Biking with flip-flops. Nothing says summer like flip flops, and hoping on your bike to race over to your neighbor's house! However, Greg is quite opinionated on this one too. You see, he knows someone who lost a toe this way, and simply won't have it on his watch.
Nail polish. Most nail polish brands contain dangerous chemicals that leach into your body. Thankfully we found some brands that only charge a small fortune to leave the formaldehyde out! Of course this meant going from 203 color options to 2.
Social Media, technology and smart phones. I can't even begin to write about this right now, but I keep threatening to (it's just such a loaded topic!). I will boldly say this is the most dangerous of them all. Let's just say that we plan to HIGHLY restrict our children's access to these things for several years.
Anything with added sugar. Good luck, Sarah. But every once in a while I try, and dump all white sugar and sugar products in the house, just to have to run out and get some sugar for baking. (I do not mean to imply that my children don't eat sugar--they have yet to go a day without finding ice cream, or some other baked good somewhere along they way!)
Lotions & sunscreen. Same old problem with the toxic ingredients (parabenes, oxyenzone, and retinal palmitate, oh my!). So I make my kids get rid of any scented lotions and spray sunscreen, and I patrol the usage of the "safe"creams, because we had to re-mortgage our home to pay for them.
McDonalds. Oh my word. I could eat a Big Mac right now. But I haven't had one since I saw the documentary "SuperSize Me." No surprise here, but I try not to give my kids fast food very often. Except when I have to drive Elia to Grand Rapids for acting camp five afternoons/evenings in a row, then they go every day. #yeswewantfrieswiththat
Luncheables. I'm sorry to break it to you, but that's not real meat. Or cheese. Or lunch.
Deodorant. I'm not anti-deodorant, mind you, but I don't use or let my kids use antiperspirants or deodorants that contain harmful chemicals. (Except for special occasions like a super rigorous gym class!) So, yes, my kids will be the ones smelling like lavender and tea tree oil, instead of baby powder.
Scented candles. I love me some apple cinnamon candles! So imagine my surprise when I found out that many fragranced home items are polluting our inside air. So, I gave away my candles (someone might as well enjoy them) and researched some smelly alternatives (clean candles and essential oils).
Pillows. I know, right? Might as well take way all stuffed animals from our kids too (I've tried that, for other reasons). But I get grossed out when I think of all that lies within old pillows or bedding. So when I found a non-familiar pillow after a recent trip, I assumed we'd somehow taken it by mistake and threw it in the trash...only to find out it was Elia's brand new pillow, which she'd carefully and lovingly picked out for herself. Oopsies!
So, there you have it. A not-even-close-to-being-complete list of all the things we've deprived our children of. Balance is about weighing the risks and benefits of our actions--calculated risks, they call it. I just maybe have more weigh-ins than most people do (figuratively speaking of course, because I've taken the scale away from my children for good, mental health reasons). If nothing else, I hope this just goes to show you that sometimes ignorance is pure, slightly dangerous, fully enjoyable bliss! So if you let your kids jump on the tramp with flip flops, nail polish, soda pop in a BPA water bottle, and their cell phone, don't think that I'll be judging your parenting style. I mean, I will...but just a tiny bit. Pop on a trampoline? Doesn't that seem just a little extreme, even for you?