stressin' me out

Monday I came home from work, gently placed my computer bag on the kitchen table, nodded at my children as they were asking me for things, went outside, walked up the latter to our roof, walked over to Greg, and said I was considering having a melt-down. He looked up at me, completely soaked from the 85% heat, extended his arms and said, "Is it because of this?" I responded, "Not entirely, but this isn't helping."

Stress. I can always feel it coming, but I don't always know how it will exhibit itself. Sometimes it's just me folding laundry in the basement crying silently to myself. Other times it's me snapping at everyone who dares ask me for something, and sometimes it's just the death stare as I stomp around our house. (Greg does an amazing impersonation of this by the way.) You just never know how I will handle a stressed-out melt-down, which I think keeps things interesting for those I love the most. Mind you, I can normally handle one or two stressers at a time just fine--like sitting in my messy house while dealing with computer automated service providers, or running late while emceeing a wedding. I'm not a worrier, I'm not anxious (anymore), and I'm not depressed (as we speak), but when the perfect storm hits, a trifecta if you will, I find I can't sleep well, I'm highly irritable, and I lose my appetite. So what caused this most recent relapse? Thanks for asking. You may want to get comfortable.

Thursday, July 6:

Nothing stresses me out more than Greg's big projects. I'm not even completely sure why, but when he knocked an outside wall out of my house one December, completely tore apart our car rendering it inoperable for a year, or says he needs to grade 568 papers by Monday, I get a sick feeling in my gut. I mean, he is ultimately always successful, but what it takes to get there (no sleep, a lot of money, and his obsessive youtubing) is uncomfortable for me to watch. Greg's current project, which officially started last Thursday, is re-roofing our funky-fresh mid-century modern roof. Thursday our

friend Scott and Greg did a lot of prep work, so I stayed out of the way and went to work, got groceries, cleaned the house, and hosted our writers group at night.

Friday, July 7:

Somehow, we still have friends, and several of them (thanks Dave, Scott, Chad, and Paul!) came over last Friday and Saturday to help tear off the 14 layers of crap that was in the center section of our roof, in 88 degree heat and 98 percent humidity. My Friday consisted of praying like crazy (that it wouldn't rain, that no one would fall off the roof, and no one would die of heat exhaustion), and bringing food, Gatorade, and Klondike bars to the guys, in between going to work and taking the children to the library. I felt nautious all day. (Yes, you can feel sorry for me that I have to watch Greg lose half his weight in sweat!)

Saturday, July 8:

I know for a fact it was my idea to have five of Kate's friends over for the day on Saturday. What I don't know, is what I was smoking when I decided that. Ahhh, just kidding, they were delightful guests...but I spent the day Saturday preparing multiple meals for 7 kids and the roofers, doing laundry, and navigating around our tarped living room (Greg had to drill a hole in the ceiling to re-wire the ceiling fan) amidst squeals of delight from downstairs, and bangs of hammers from above. That's when I first noticed my headache. Elia tagged along with the older girls most of the time, until she tried taking over, and got kicked out. Then she followed me around the house begging me for a dog. We worked until sundown picking up and tarping the roof for the rain that was starting to fall. Since the Chimney was covered, we turned off the water heater to prevent carbon monoxide leaking back into the house.

Sunday, July 9:

We woke up sore, Greg from working the past 72 hours, and me from carrying some heavy buckets to the garage. I still had a light headache, but we excitedly got ready to go to church in Grandville to see Greg's brother Kurt, Amy, and one-year-old Kai from California! We spent a delightful day with the Schempers, though I noticed that the rash (on my right love handle) was getting worse, so I tried to stick with my resolve to keep off sugar (as I've found sugar is not great for my gut--or anyone's for that matter, but I don't mean to bring you into this). Around 7pm we stopped by Home Depot where Greg had to "run in a quick second" to get something, and half an hour in the hot car with two restless kids later, we were off to run a couple more errands before we got home at 10.

Monday, July 10:

I'm pretty sure it was raining all day, so Greg obsessed over whether the tarp was holding up, and took Kate to the dentist and the orthodontist so I could get to work. Kate called me at work sad to say the ortho said she needs two more teeth pulled, and that her grown-up eye teeth are still headed in the wrong direction, and to come back in 6 months to see if she's ready for braces. Then Elia grabbed the phone to ask if we can get a dog. My love-handle rash was growing, and I still had a headache, but we had a delightful visit with some other California friends who were also in town and came over for the evening with their four children.

Tuesday, July 11:

Greg worked on the roof until 6pm. I got home from work in time to pick up and start supper so we were ready when Kurt, Amy and Kai arrived around 5. Turns out our house is not baby-friendly, but we put Kate and Elia on Kai watch, and loved up on this little nephew who we've only met once before. Our neighbors said we could swim in their pool as they were leaving for the evening, so after supper we went outside to find it had substantially cooled off in the past hour. But we jumped in the pool anyhow, and swam until Kai was shivering and we were properly chilled. We ended up staying up talking until 2am, which was a highlight for me, but I paid for it all day Wednesday.

Wednesday, July 12:

We had breakfast with everyone, then Kurt and Amy left in a torrential downpour, and I left for work. Greg texted me this picture of a puppy, and

Elia called me twice to see if I'd made up my mind. My rash had gotten out of control, so I tried to figure out what it could be. Might I suggest you never google "round itchy red rashes"? Some things can not be unseen. Thankfully I was able to get a cancelled appointment time with my doctor, and as things turn out, he's pretty convinced it's Lyme Disease and put me on 3 weeks of an antibiotic. He even took a picture as he's never seen such a big bullseye rash in his life! (It's never my goal to shock my doctors.) Greg can't get over how I got it in the first place as I'm not an "outdoorsy person" and thinks I'm trying to rain on his parade (he had Lyme several years ago, only he was actually sick.) At any rate, in my diseased state, I picked up the house yet again, and started supper yet again as we were having yet another California family over for the night. (We know a lot of people from California, and they all come to Michigan the same week!) I think I waited until everyone else was eating ice cream to do the grand reveal of my rash. (I'm a classy hostess.) By 11pm we made sure the house was tucked in for the evening, I took a freezing cold shower, told Elia if she asked me one more time for a dog I'd put her in a kennel, and passed out from exhaustion.

Thursday, July 13:

After my morning antibiotic pill, I got so nauseous that I grabbed a bowl and lay down for a bit. I do not make a good nauseous person, but no one was around to see me, as Greg was on the roof and Kate and Elia were only coming in to ask about the dog decision. I was too sick to hurt them. We've officially been out of groceries since Wednesday, so we've been running to the store several times a day. All the Schempers came over late afternoon and we went to the beach, then Dad bought us pizzas for

supper and took us out for ice cream. Tomorrow night I have book club at my friend's house, and since I actually read the book (The Nightingale), I'm excited to go, and so tonight is the night I have to do my homework assignment of this blog. This freaking blog. I mean, who gives themselves weekly homework? Ah well, it gives me something to do while I scratch my rash and listen to Greg watching a youtube video on insulation.

I'm kinda famous for saying you're only as busy as you want to be, but what do I know? I've found I have a big mouth, an even bigger rash, and am dangerously close to having the world's cutest puppy. But they say dogs are good for stress, no? Stay tuned...