a letter to my friend's daughter

A friend of mine puts together a booklet for her daughters when they become teenagers, full of letters and notes of advice from the women in their lives. I love this idea for a couple of reasons--kids will always be more inclined to listen to someone who isn't their parent, her kids will always have a mommento from this point in their lives, and I absolutely love to be asked my advice! So, while I don't even know what I'm about to write, I have a feeling it's going to brilliant, so thought I'd share it with you all (and with my daughters, should they be willing to take my advice someday). Here goes, a letter to my friend's daughter:

Dearest Teenager,

Happy Birthday! It's hard to believe you only have a few more years left at your parents' house...unless you move back someday, which is always an option too. If your teenage years get hard at times, just know that it gets better. Your emotions/hormones will level out, you'll get to pick your own pursuits in life, and almost everyone is nice after high school.

So, with that in mind, here are few pieces of advice which I think could make life easier:

You will make plenty of mistakes, that's inevitable, some bigger than others. (This will never change, by the way.) Apologize to the appropriate people, ask for forgiveness, learn your lessons, and move on without guilt.

Push yourself to try new things (but not drugs, of course.) Don't be afraid to try and fail---that only proves that you were brave enough to try. People who accomplish the biggest things in life, have failed over and over again before they succeeded. Go big or go home. Or go big and then go home...to your parent's house, as previously mentioned.

Anything that you do wrong, or want to do wrong, has been done before. While most of the decisions you will make in your life are inconsequential, there are some which will effect you forever (like who you chose to marry someday). To these decisions, pay very close attention.

Treat your body with respect, not just because it's God's dwelling place (which may be hard to imagine), but because when you don't take good care of it, you're hating yourself, and you deserve so much better than that! It's not that God doesn't want us to have fun, cause He does, He just knows the consequences of our mistakes (physically, emotionally, etc.) and is trying to save us from pain.

Beauty is important to us women. But pay as much attention to being lovely inside as you do on looking good. There are a lot of physically beautiful people in the world, but not as many who draw people to them because they're gracious, kind, and loving. Never deprive your body of the food it needs, be active every day to feel strong, but don't weigh yourself. Everyone has different body types. One is not better than the other, so embrace any quirks you may feel you have, and you'll (probably) come to love them some day. Don't believe the lies that you see or read or hear in the media that you are not good enough. You are practically perfect in every way (as the great Mary Poppins once said---about herself).

Surround yourself with friends who believe in you, love you, and encourage you to grow. You have to be nice to everyone, but you don't have to be friends with everyone. Some relationships aren't meant to be, or have run their course. But always be kind to your parents. You may think they don't know much at times, or are annoying, but they love you as strongly as only a few people in your lifetime will, and thankfully there is nothing you can do that will make them love you less. Oh, they could like you less, but never love you less!

If you ever wonder what to talk to people about, ask them questions about themselves.

If you ever wonder what to buy someone as a gift, buy something that you would like yourself.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go because, man, they're gone! (Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.) I guess this signals I've run out of original things to say.

You are a beautiful girl, and so very talented! You have certain purposes here on earth, and you have your gifts and interests for a reason. I'm excited to see how you use them as you grow into a woman. You are surrounded by people who love you, so you are never alone. Unless you want to be (though that could prove hard in your house). Happy teen-aging my sweet, smart, lovely friend!

Sarah