the volvo

Anyone who reads my yearly blog may already know

I have a love/hate relationship with our Volvo. I guess it was my idea to get it in the first place as I was all about safety, and had researched that Click and Clack the Tappet brothers had said that they're highly safe vehicles, which they are. But had I read on I'd have seen this advice they gave to someone who had just been offered two vehicles and wasn't sure which to keep:

...Then rig the drawing so the Volvo goes. It's a great car, and a safe car. But if you're relying on donated cars these days, you probably don't have the budget to care for an aging Volvo yet.

But alas I was young, and not a thorough reader, and had recently fallen in love with a 1995 Volvo 850 Turbo sedan on Craigslist which we "stole" from a mechanic for $2500. Sure, the A/C didn't work, the seat heaters didn't work, and maybe a couple of other things (the heater, catalytic converter, muffler, and–-a couple years later-–the crankshaft) but it was ours, it was rust free, and it trekked the half-mile to Greg's school almost flawlessly.

Fast forward two years, and Greg turned what was meant to be a "$500 and two week--tops" project into a year-long $4000 extravaganza, only without the balloons, and the fun. I'm not going to lie to you, there were times during that year when I had to verbally remind myself that Yes, my marriage is worth more than $4000. Though I'm glad we didn't have to figure out the exact limit on that one. But, it's not just the money. Oh, the time that this man has spent on his Volvo (it's now his Volvo––he's earned it––spending 2o hours on it this week alone). The kicker is that every single time he says, "Think of all the money we're saving!" Which may be true, assuming his time is not worth anything...but I digress.

Two weeks ago Greg came home and said that the car was "undriveable" as one of the brakes was "gone." Just like that. He's such a perfectionist. He got himself a tool organizer from Home Depot, (I have to admit, that was an easy sell, under the guise of "organization"), then he cleared out the garage, and

moved in the Volvo for what we thought would be the weekend.

Have you ever read the book If You Give A Mouse a Cookie. Well, I've been reminded a lot of that lately, so...

If you give a Greg a Volvo, he'll probably notice that the brake pads haven't been changed in 8 years.

He's going to order some new brake pads, rotors,

and calipers while he's at it,

and he might even find once the calipers are off,

a bolt breaks off in the rear axle.

Chances are, as he's replacing the rear axle, he will also notice that the brake lines are corroded to the calipers

(and to themselves)

and he'll want to replace them––all of them.

He will have to watch YouTube videos late into the night to see how to replace these things,

and he'll save us more money by buying us new tools.

He might get carried away and replace the rear ABS sensors, one of which was affixed to the rear axle,

and he will order a new parking brake kit too!

He may get so excited that he even ends up replacing the rear wheel hubs

("for only $100, Sarah!")

and then the front wheel hubs

and control arms.

And when that's all finished, he'll stand back and look at this 22-year-old beauty.

And chances are, this will suddenly remind him that he hasn't seen his wife

in

three

weeks.

The End.